I have finally done it! After the final months of last your during which I, bit by bit, shortened the length of the dark brown and silvery manes that adorned my scalp for twelve years, I began my quest of getting used to my hair being the shortest it had ever been in my life. During the first quarter of this year I went back and forth between it being milimetred and (because shaving had yet to become second nature) the slightest bit but still considerably longer in comparison.
And now I have finally made the final step to greatness, taking my place among such luminaries as Sir Patrick Stewart, Samuel L. Jackson, Vin Diesel, One-Punch Man Saitama and of course the Lord Supreme Eggscum himself, Ryan “Northernlion” Letourneau! Yes, as of yesterday I am finally, as the cool kids call it these days, a Bald Bro! It’s a bit chilly at times and the now shaven part of my head has to undergo a bit of tanning, but now that I have transformed into what I once feared but now know is truly magnificent, I shall be celebrating and embracing with all my heart and soul the newfound glory and eggcelence that is my baldness! Because, as the great Puar once said:
Cold wind strikes my scalp
And I realize, at last
I am become egg!